How Past Mistakes Shape Your Mental Health and Life – Overcoming Self-Doubt

Do you ever have that little voice in your head pop up and say things like:

“What do you think you are doing?”

“Who do you think you are?”

“You could never accomplish this, because you failed at that.”

Truth is, I do, and I know I am not the only one.  Many entrepreneurs and business leaders I spend time with, share this as well.  We call this voice “imposter syndrome”.  It is the voice and internal feeling you get when you are shooting for a big goal and dream. It is a program that scans your past, searching for all your mistakes, failures, and places you just plain screwed up.  This program picks and chooses these items and brings you back to relive and re-experience them with an attempt to conclude that you are not worthy of current and future success because of your past.

Letting these negative thoughts control your actions can stop you from achieving your full potential. However, your past does not define your future. Here are a few tips and things to consider when this voice pops up and you start feeling a little imposter syndrome creep in:

1. Find the source of the voice.  Who is really speaking this to you?  Is this a voice from somebody from your past? Maybe somebody who hurt you or didn’t believe in you?  Are you carrying their voice and making it your own?  If so, identify it, capture it and explore it. Recognizing these voices is the first step in stopping their power over your mental health and life. Letting go of these past influences can be difficult, but it is essential for personal growth.
2. Consider the volume of the voice. Many times, the voices that scream the loudest are not voices of encouragement but of fear and doubt. They can make past mistakes feel larger than they are, causing unnecessary regret and anxiety. Many of these thoughts are driven by social pressures, comparison, and unrealistic expectations. Remember, God’s voice, and the voice of inner peace, often speaks softly and calmly. Don’t let the negative voices drown out the truth of your worth.
3. Identify triggers and emotional patterns. What was occurring just before these voices started entering your mind that may have triggered this experience?  For example, for me, one of the programs I carry from a young age is that my net worth is equal to my self-worth. Any time I see a dip in revenue, profits, and income, this voice and program can be triggered inside me. This can negatively affect my mental health and stop me from making rational, growth-oriented decisions. Learning to recognize these triggers can help you navigate life with greater self-awareness.
4. Find support in a group. Who are the people you can be real and vulnerable with to share what you are going through?  It does not have to be a lot of people; having one is amazing!  Make sure if you are experiencing this that you reach out, share what you are going through and get some perspective. Many people have been where you are and can help you find clarity and resilience. Surrounding yourself with positive influences can shift your mindset and improve your mental and emotional health.
5. Change your perspective through gratitude. If your child or a friend was going through what you are, what would you tell them?  Many times we just need to tell ourselves the same thing that we would tell somebody else we love. Practicing gratitude can help shift your focus from past mistakes to the lessons learned and the growth achieved. Instead of feeling regret, appreciate how far you’ve come and the opportunities that lie ahead.

Fear is a natural human response to the unknown, but letting it control your decisions will only keep you stuck. You are not your past mistakes. They were simply moments in time that contributed to your growth. Find ways to move forward by focusing on self-improvement and taking small, intentional steps toward your goals. Whether it’s through personal reflection, professional guidance, or community services, there are always resources available to help you navigate challenges.

I hope these tips serve you and help you if and when you experience imposter syndrome. 

Below are two stories from a couple of great friends of mine who had very rough and rocky pasts.  On paper, they should not be where they are today. However, they overcame great odds and struggles, and are now doing big things for the world.

Both of these friends, Rick Scadden and Harlee Newman, sat down with me on the Gentle Art of Leadership podcast to share their stories.  Check them out below.

Click here to learn Rick’s story.

Click here to learn Harlee’s story.

Be sure to click here and download all my free resources for your life, leadership and business journey.