The first time I was sued, I was 19 and a student at Colorado State University. A man knocked on my door and asked sternly, “Are you Matthew Shoup?”

When I confirmed, he handed me papers and said, “You have been served.”

Until that moment, the only things I’d been “served” were burgers and drinks at local hangouts.

Six months earlier, I lived with three roommates in a house near campus. Our landlord, Ralph, fit every stereotype of a slumlord—disheveled appearance, stained clothes, foul breath, and a demeanor that made your stomach churn. He was equal parts manipulative and unpleasant, the type to exploit young tenants without hesitation.

The house was falling apart. One day, while I was showering, the drain backed up with foul brown sludge. The sewer system was broken, and electrical issues made the place hazardous.

I asked him to fix it. He refused.  I asked again. He refused again. Things like this happened frequently, and I concluded we were not in a safe living environment, so I moved out and stopped paying rent. 

The slumlord sued me for $2,700. WOW!  That was a ton of money for a 19-year-old kid.

At first, I felt overwhelmed—scared, nervous, angry, and uncertain all at once.

I was now faced with a critical decision. Fight or cave. Stand up for yourself or settle.

I chose to fight.

I consulted with an attorney as to the small claims court process, who ensured I understood the process of being a defendant in a case, and what I must prepare.  I prepared my story, my evidence, the reason for my decision to stop paying rent, and why he breached the contract, not me.

When I entered the Larimer County Courthouse, I found myself in the elevator with Ralph. His breath was just as unbearable as before. He’d dressed for the occasion in his finest: cargo shorts, a stained shirt, and flip-flops. His gelled combover and awkwardly high belt completed the look.

He was a bully and had bullied many college students who lived in his ramshackle houses.  This was not the first time he did this, and it probably wasn’t his last.  He attempted to intimidate me in the elevator saying,

“I will take $1,000 right now, and this will all go away.”

I calmly reminded him I was countersuing for triple the damages due to his failure to return the deposit, as outlined in Colorado law. I offered him a choice: pay the full amount now to avoid being embarrassed in court by a 19-year-old or face me in the courtroom.

Inside, my blood was boiling. I wanted to grab him and throw him out of the elevator as the doors opened. In my mind, I pictured the 57 CSU students he had exploited cheering me on, with Bruce Buffer announcing my victory.

Then, I remember the attorney I consulted who told me,

“Whatever happens, just be cool, be calm, be collected, don’t be emotional. Be factual and logical, precise and poised.  Matt, don’t lose it!”

Did I mention I used to lose it A LOT when I was 19?

In the courtroom, we presented our cases. His arrogance and deceit were on full display, and it was clear he wasn’t used to being challenged. Like me, it was his first time in court—his intimidation tactics typically succeeded against inexperienced college students.

I was calm. I was professional. I presented my case logically and chronologically, backed by facts and evidence as well as written accounts from another roommate as to the condition of the home. This presentation was processed through the framework of Colorado law, and the judge was about to render his decision.

“After three rounds of breathtaking action, we go to the judge’s scorecard! This judge scores the bout with a unanimous decision.  Your winner and new small claims court champion is…

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttt “Didn’t Lose It” Shooooooooouuuuuuuuup!!!!!”

I imagined my hand being raised in victory, as my opponent screamed and cursed at the judge’s decision. Not only did I win, but I won more than I countersued for, and the judge required Ralph the slumlord to pay me on the spot. 

We walked out of the courtroom together and he followed me into the elevator.  He continued to harass me and berate me.  Still slimy, still arrogant. Still a slumlord.

I showed him my belt, and by that I mean the check he wrote me, and told him I would see him around one day.

I learned many lessons that day that I would like to share as it relates to life, leadership, and business.

You may get sued one day.  You may face a critical decision where something is on the line and it can and will affect the trajectory of your life. Somebody or something may pick a fight with you.

Here are some things to remember:

• Decide whether to fight or settle. Not every battle is worth engaging in—choose wisely based on the situation, timing, and reasons involved.
• There is value in fighting. Understanding the technical and psychological aspects of battle in a particular environment and how to win is important and teaches many things as it relates to life and business.
• Fighting involves four components. Defend, escape, control, submit. I learned this on the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu mats. You must defend and escape danger, then if you choose to engage, make sure you win.  Control what you can control, and tap out if you need to end the situation.
• Stay in control of your emotions. Fear and anxiety can cloud your judgment and disrupt logical thinking.
• Remove your ego. Ego overrides logic and pulls you away from who you are, why you exist, what you stand for, and what you value.
• Establish and use these 3 things as your guiding light and filter for making decisions. They are: Why Do You Exist? What Do You Value? Who do You Serve? This is your stand, or as I have coined it “Planting Your Flag”. How does this fight threaten your flag and affect you and those you serve?
• Remember, angry people will be angry. Slimy people will be slimy.  Kind people will be kind. Stay true to who you are, even when you fight.

Recently, I came across Ralph’s name on a pre-foreclosure list I received as a real estate agent. This public record includes homeowners in mortgage default who are at risk of foreclosure.

I remember the knock on my door and getting served.  It was unjust and unfair and I took a stand.

At some point, you may face challenges or confrontations that shake your confidence. I hope this blog provides inspiration and practical advice to help you tackle any obstacles you encounter.

As for Ralph, he has experienced and will continue to experience many more knocks on his door to be served.  Things tend to work out like this.

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