I remember my first time getting sued.  I was 19 and attending Colorado State University.  A man knocked on my door. I opened it.

“Are you Matthew Shoup,” he sternly asked.

I answered.

“You have been served.”

I had never been served anything more than my favorite burger and fries at the local Chilis (or alcohol at the bar).

Six months prior, I lived with 3 roommates in a home close to campus.  Our landlord, Ralph, was a slumlord. Imagine a 50-year-old man, short, skinny, slimy, combover, cargo pants, flip flops, ketchup stained shirt buttoned up crookedly, dirty teeth, smelly breath.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, every time he spoke, a wave of cringe would hit you in the gut. He was a combination of a dirty old man and a sociopathic con artist.

One day while showering, the drain backed up with nasty brown sludge. Sewer system was shot. Severe electrical issues. A dangerous environment, to say the least.

I asked him to fix it. He refused.  I asked again. He refused again. Things like this happened frequently, and I concluded we were not in a safe living environment, so I moved out and stopped paying rent. 

The slumlord sued me for $2,700. WOW!  That was a ton of money for a 19-year-old kid.

I initially became emotionally hijacked and overwhelmed by a wave of emotions. I was scared, nervous, fearful, uncertain, angry, and confused.

I was now faced with a critical decision. Fight or cave. Stand up for myself or settle.

I chose to fight.

I consulted with an attorney as to the small claims court process, who ensured I understood the process of being a defendant in a case, and what I must prepare.  I prepared my story, my evidence, the reason for my decision to stop paying rent, and why he breached the contract, not me.

As I entered the Larimer County Courthouse, I happened to enter the elevator with slumlord Ralph himself.  Did I mentioned his breath was hideous? He had dressed up in his best outfit for this momentous occasion. Cargo shorts, stained shirt, and flip flops. He did make sure the combover was gelled back and to the side, and he had tucked in his shirt, hiked up his shorts, and tightened his belt somewhere between his belly button and his nipples.

He was a bully and had bullied many college students that lived in his ramshackle houses.  This was not the first time he did this, and it probably wasn’t his last.  He attempted to intimidate me in the elevator saying,

“I will take $1,000 right now, and this will all go away.”

I responded to his mafia style shake down reminding him that I was countersuing him for three times damages for the unreturned deposit as per Colorado law. I then informed him I would take the full amount now so he could save his time and not be embarrassed in court by a 19-year-old, or we had the option to take this outside.

Inside my blood was boiling. I almost knocked him out cold in the elevator. I wanted to grab this guy by neck and slam him around, throwing him out as the door dinged and opened.  I envisioned the 57 CSU students he took advantage of through his rental portfolio cheering me on, and Bruce Buffer announcing my name in victory!

Then, I remember the attorney I consulted who told me,

“Whatever happens, just be cool, be calm, be collected, don’t be emotional. Be factual and logical, precise and poised.  Matt, don’t lose it!”

Did I mention I used to lose it A LOT when I was 19?

We entered the courtroom and presented our cases. He was arrogant. He was slimy. He was a conman and it showed. Turns out, like me, it was his first time in the courtroom. His shake downs usually worked on uneducated and overemotional scared college kids.

I was calm. I was professional. I presented my case logically and chronologically, backed by facts and evidence as well as written accounts from another roommate as to the condition of the home. This presentation was processed through the framework of Colorado law, and the judge was about to render his decision.

“After three rounds of breathtaking action, we go to the judge’s scorecard! This judge scores the bout with a unanimous decision.  Your winner, and new small claims court champion is…

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttt “Didn’t Lose It” Shooooooooouuuuuuuuup!!!!!”

I imagined my hand being raised in victory, as my opponent screamed and cursed at the judge’s decision. Not only did I win, but I won more than I countersued for, and the judge required Ralph the slumlord to pay me on the spot. 

We walked out of the courtroom together and he followed me into the elevator.  He continued to harass me and berede me.  Still slimy, still arrogant. Still a slumlord.

I showed him my belt, and by that I mean the check he wrote me, and told him I would see him around one day.

I learned many lessons that day that I would like to share as it relates to life, leadership and business.

You may get sued one day.  You may face a critical decision where something is on the line and it can and will affect the trajectory of your life. Somebody or something may pick a fight with you.

Here are some things to remember:

• You must decide if you will fight or settle. Some fights are worth fighting, and some are not. Is this the right fight at the right place at the right time with the right person for the right reasons?
• There is value in fighting. Understanding the technical and psychological aspects of battle in a particular environment and how to win is important and teaches many things as it relates to life and business.
• Fighting involves four components. Defend, escape, control, submit. I learned this on the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu mats. You must defend and escape danger, then if you choose to engage, make sure you win.  Control what you can control, and tap out if you need to end the situation.
• Avoid being emotionally hijacked with fear, anxiety, and disempowering emotions that will short circuit your logic.
• Remove your ego. Ego overrides logic and pulls you away from who you are, why you exist, what you stand for, and what you value.
• Establish and use these 3 things as your guiding light and filter for making decisions. They are: Why Do You Exist? What Do You Value? Who do You Serve? This is your stand, or as I have coined it “Planting Your Flag”. How does this fight threaten your flag and affect you and those you serve?
• Remember, angry people will be angry. Slimy people will be slimy.  Kind people will be kind. Stay true to you are, even when you fight.

Did I mention I ran into Ralph recently?  Well, kind of.

As a real estate agent, I receive the pre-foreclosure list every week.  This is a public record released when a homeowner with a mortgage goes into default. They are served a notice of election and demand. If they don’t pay, they face foreclosure. Guess who was on it?

I remember the knock on my door and getting served.  It was unjust, unfair and I took a stand.

You may have somebody or something knocking on your door, serving you, scaring you and attempting to come after you.  I hope this blog serves you, inspires you, uplifts you and gives you practical wisdom to apply to whatever you are facing or will face some day.

As for Ralph, he has experienced and will continue to experience many more knocks on his door to be served.  Things tend to work out like this.

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