The various roles we assume in life, including business, leadership, and entrepreneurship, come with inherent challenges. Stress is an unavoidable aspect of these pursuits; it can only be managed, not eliminated, and must be acknowledged rather than ignored. The impact of stress can be detrimental to our physical, emotional, spiritual, and relational well-being. If left unchecked, it can ultimately prove fatal. As a keynote speaker and coach specializing in business, life, and leadership, I work with diverse individuals worldwide. A frequent concern I encounter is, “I am so busy and stressed. How do I handle this?” Before I offer six straightforward strategies for maintaining composure under pressure, allow me to recount an incident where I confronted someone who had vandalized my car in a parking area.

Talk about stress!  Sunday, January 18^th, 2015, was the end of a four day keynote speaking tour. I was exhausted, having spent the last 4 days traveling and sharing my message (Plant Your Flag: The Warrior’s Battle Guide to Life, Love and Leadership) in Las Vegas and Denver 9 times.  Encouraging, inspiring and pouring my message into people is my life’s mission and purpose, and it is a physically and emotionally draining one.  I spent Saturday and Sunday standing at the Denver Convention Center for the Denver Franchise Expo. I finally packed up my booth and walked to the parking lot where I had left my car earlier that morning, ready to go home and enjoy some much needed family time.  I had recently purchased a new-to-me car a few weeks earlier, which my wife nicknamed ‘Little Blue’, and it was my new baby.  The second I approached my car, I noticed the big truck parked to the right of my car had moved over about a foot from where it was originally parked in the morning.  It had been a tight squeeze when I parked that AM, and this truck had been parked right on the passenger side line next to my car.  I went to open the passenger side door, and saw a nice, fresh, large, not accidental, aggressive and hateful key mark on Little Blue.

To sum up how I knew the man in the truck was guilty: the evidence was as obvious as when my daughter denies stealing a cookie despite having chocolate all over her face. I confronted the driver in the parking lot as he was leaving. Despite the stress and my temptation to use my Jiu Jitsu skills on him, I remained calm, managed the situation, and learned some valuable lessons about handling stress.

(Did I mention I video taped the man who I believe keyed my car as we had our confrontation in the parking lot?  Make sure to check it out.  Make a comment on this blog on if you think he was lying!)

Here are my tips, advice, and lessons learned regarding how to handle stress, confrontation, and situations that suck!

1. Expect it– Never convince yourself that stress or conflict won’t arise; they always will. Expect it. Always remember to expect it rather than wonder if it will happen. 90% of the fight is being ready.
2. Step out of the emotion of the stressful situation. I have done, said and acted very stupidly when being in the emotion of a situation.  Stepping out and looking at the facts, without a high level of emotion has served me well, and I guarantee will serve you well under stress.  Know this it is 100% okay to feel emotional and have an intense emotional thought (I thought about doing a lot of bad things to the guy in this video).  Just have the ability to step away from that emotion when the time comes to confront.
3. Efficiently evaluate the potential outcomes. When you can doEffectively assess the possible results. There is nothing to worry about if you can complete this task swiftly and accept all possible outcomes and possibilities. Recognize that there will be a Best Case and Worst Case scenario when assessing results. The result will probably be in the middle. I was aware that there were three plausible possible outcomes in this confrontation:
   1. Lying guy stops lying, admits to keying my car and takes accountability. I am cool with that.
   2. Lying guy keeps lying and drives away (which he did). I have a $500 deductible, which I quickly earn speaking, coaching and blogging about this situation (which I did). I am cool with that.
   3. Lying guy gets physical with me in the confrontation and gets choked out (which he almost did, he got a little too close to me at one point). I am cool with that.
4. Take a deep breath– Just before approaching this man, I took a deep breath and told myself to remain composed, manage my emotions, communicate in a way that let him feel in charge of the situation, never lose my cool, and have fun!
5. State Your Warrior Credo-“My purpose on this planet is to lead, encourage, inspire, be a warrior and a visionary to make people’s lives better. I value fight, faith, family, action, accountability, giving, gratitude, love, service, excellence.”  In the moments of this man rambling in the video, I was not listening to him, rather stating my warrior credo over and over to myself.  This kept me grounded, and kept me and him safe in this situation.
6. Stay away from the risky engagement zone at all times. Stressful situations can soon become harmful to your physical, mental, and interpersonal health. I kept a safe distance because I knew there might be a physical confrontation in this scenario. You’ll notice that I always retreated when this dude got closer than arms length. The few times he approached too closely, I extended my arm and politely urged him to move away.

I hope this blog gives you some relief the next time you encounter a stressful situation, confrontation and emotionally charged event.  Please leave a comment below, and if you happen to know the guy in the video, send me his address so I can send him a thank you card for keying my car because this video has now inspired a new keynote speaking topic, and maybe even book titled: Keyed Cars: 6 Simple Steps To Stay Calm as Cucumber Under Stress, Emotion and Confrontation.