Sometimes, you need to stand up and call out what doesn’t add up.

While attending a business conference abroad, I eagerly anticipated hearing one of the keynote speakers. This CEO was a prominent figure in the business world, leading a rapidly growing company with a large team, a strong culture, and millions of followers. He had gained widespread attention from top business publications, giving him significant influence among other leaders.

His talk was amazing! It effectively talked about heart-centered leadership, integrity, values, and connecting with others’ stories to inspire and lead them. His talk was short, sweet, concise, and to the point, as this was a requirement of the speakers on stage.

I was captivated by the simplicity and impact of his message, taking notes as it resonated deeply on both a personal and practical level. It addressed exactly what my company needed to grow and thrive, highlighting areas I needed to improve as a leader.

As a keynote speaker myself, I enjoy connecting with others in the field, so I decided to approach him. This CEO, who had just delivered a powerful presentation, embodied the qualities many aspire to in a leader.

As soon as he closed and people began to exit the area, I pushed through the traffic, making my way to the stage with him in my sights. As he was attempting to make a quick exit off stage, I stopped him and stuck out my hand for a shake. Want to know what he did?

He stopped to talk, shook my hand, signed a copy of his book, and even asked if I wanted a picture. I was admittedly a bit starstruck. My wife, Emily, jokingly referred to him as my “business man-crush” at the time.

“Matt, want to go get a drink”, he asked.

“Sure,” I exclaimed. “Where are you thinking?” Wait, did he just ask me to go have drink?!

“I will call my driver and he can take us to this place I know,” he explained.

I couldn’t believe this was happening—it felt like a dream.

And then I woke up. Here comes the pinch!

He then explained…

“This place is for high level guys, CEOs, like me and you. We can go have drinks, do some coke, and bang some hookers. Our wives will never find out because the guy who runs the place runs it for guys like us.”

Full disclosure, I tried coke once in college, never again will I touch that stuff!

I like a little whiskey here and there. In 2016, I was having way too much of it.

Wait! Did he say BANG HOOKERS? Yes, he did. Now, I have never checked that box, nor do I plan to.

My business man-crush just crushed my dreams of going on a business man-date to get to know one of my idols. Needless to say, I did not accept his invitation to go out for a “drink”.

As time progressed, I began to find out a little more about this guy. Turns out that:

• His team lived in fear of him, worried about losing their jobs. Those who spoke out faced costly lawsuits, which discouraged others from taking any action.
• His top line left him little to no bottom line.
• He loved booze, coke, hookers, pills and planes.
• His wife was plotting her escape from their “picture perfect life”.

All the while he graced the stage with his positive and influential prescience, but at the end of the day, this guy is a total fraud. He will get found out, it is just a matter of time.

It’s easy to judge this man or write about his flaws. The real challenge, however, is focusing on my own growth as a leader—reflecting on my actions and how they affect those I lead and who look up to me.

Here is the challenge I make to myself daily and now I make to you:

As you develop and grow as a leader, it is important you invest in yourself and surround yourself with those who will build you up. It is equally important that you build others up. Pour into others and have others pour into you. In doing so, keep in mind:

• Not everyone is who they appear to be. Be mindful of whom you follow, who influences you, and where you seek inspiration.
• Be careful of those who talk too much. Make sure they walk the walk that they talk. Great leaders DO more than they SAY.
• Consider what others say about a leader once they’ve left the room—and reflect on what they say about you when you’re not there.

Ask yourself: Are you the same person off the stage and away from the spotlight as you are when you’re in it?

If not, call BS, call it fast, call it hard, and call it on yourself before you call it on others. Easier said than done.

Remember, we’re in this together—growing in life, leadership, and business every step of the way. Click here to download lots more free resources and tools to equip you as we continue to take this journey together.

Remember 3 things.

I love you.

I believe in you.

You’ve got this.

Now, Go Get it!

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