How to Handle Criticism and Critical Communication
When you decide to stand for something, put yourself out there and/or create a change in your life, your business and your leadership, people will respond to you.
This blog is a follow up from my Christmas blog titled Turn Anger Into Appreciation. Click here to watch.
One of the most beautiful and uplifting things I see in humans is when they decide to eliminate something in their life that no longer serves them and their purpose, but rather has been sabotaging them and short circuiting them from their greatness.
When this elimination and purging occurs, focusing on where you want to be, not where you want to run from, is critical. This is called towards vs. away pattern (more on this in a future blog). Example. I am an alcoholic, and I choose to pursue sobriety vs. I don’t want to be a drunk anymore.
When this process and journey begins, many will encourage you, support you, align with you, and uplift you. Or what I like to say, they will have your back.
When this process and journey begins, many will do the opposite. They will attempt to degrade you, discourage you, stand against you, hate on you, and hope you fail. They will pull you back towards the very thing you are eliminating from your life.
The most important thing to remember here: the people who hate on you and try to bring you down will attempt to prevent you from seeing who you wish to become by reminding you of who you were. They will remember you as and encourage you to be the drunk, even as you stand in sobriety.
Many times, the way people communicate their support or lack thereof of you is with words, feedback, comments, posts, messages, all things I like to consider critical communication.
Here are 6 points I would encourage you to consider regarding critical communication from people.
- The media and method in which they decide to communicate their message with you.
- Their willingness to own this communication with a face and a name in person.
- Is this person relevant and respected in your life? Or are they attempting to lean on their title and perceived authority they think comes with it?
- Do they have a willingness to discuss and clarify their communication further to enhance your life and theirs? Or, did they just take a shot at you then run away?
- Are they attempting to break you down or build you up? Do they desire to drive you towards greatness, soberness (as in our example above), and excellence, or keep you stuck in the pit of despair, drunkenness and mediocrity?
- What movie are they watching? Remember, everybody is watching a slightly different movie based on their story and their perception of the world.
As you consider these things, remember that not everybody’s comments deserve your response. Decide if you will respond, and if so, how you will respond.
Remember who you say you are, who God says you are, and who you have committed to be in this world and for this world. This is your destiny.
Focus all your energy on your destiny, align with others who support, encourage you and drive you towards your destiny. Fuel yourself with the stories of others who have done what you are doing, learn from them, take from their story.
Finally, as you desire to grow, lead, love and create an excellent life, the little voices from your past story will pop up from time to time. Critical feedback from others or from yourself may spark these voices. These voices are your history, not your future.